oh boy!!

It's been a while since I've updated. I guess I just haven't had much to really say. I had been having a really hard few weeks. I've been on antidepressants for about 3 years now and I had misplaced them a couple weeks ago and just recently found them again but for the past few weeks I couldn't find them my depression got REALLY bad. To the point where I couldn't even shave my legs because I was so tempted to hurt myself that I had to just avoid it all together so I would know nothing would happen. I hardly talked, I cried a lot. etc. It was just not me. I also thought about that boy a lot during that rough patch and felt pretty down about myself.

But no more thoughts on him anymore. I know I'm way too good for him I've got so much going for me and I don't need that toxin in my life. So if he tries to talk to me again, which from what I posted the last time I doubt he will, but if he does, he will not receive a response from me. :] I have to be strong for myself and know that better things are out there for me.

I finished orientations and I have my books and everything all set and ready for classes to begin on the 23! I'm super excited and soo nervous at the same time-its so weird! But, I'm ready for new beginnings and sometimes that means going through a big change, as scary as it is, I just gotta dive in and see where life takes me.

My older brother, Jimmy, and his wife Nikki are coming home in 4 days for a bit! I am SOO excited!!! I miss them so much. And then 5 days we're going to Jax Cafe in Minneapolis with the family for lunch and I cannot wait! They have THE BEST food EVER! AND THEN 6 DAYS AND WE'RE IN DULUTH UNTIL WEDNESDAY!!!! EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! My absolute favorite place in the whole wide world!!!! It's the one place I can truly relax completely and just enjoy life. Just sit out on the balcony of the hotel room and read and look out at the lake. SOO relaxing. And of course lots of shopping, zoo visit, watching boats, swimming, gooseberry falls, betty's pies, so much fun!!! It'll be weird it's the first time as a whole family going up without my dad. So I know I'll be sad, but he's with me everywhere I go, I feel him. So I know he'll be there with us and would want us to have so much fun like we always did. So I'm going to do that for him. I deserve it right? The only downside about this Duluth trip is that David lives up there. So I have a feeling I might be way tempted to try to talk to him because as much as I hate what he did to me a part of me really misses him. I know he just played me from the very beginning but I miss him. But I just need to stay strong and nto do it. NO good can come out of it. So I'm doing it for my own good. I need to protect my heart and it's almost fully healed so why open up old wounds? No point in that.

So. Here's to an amazing next week! lots of pictures and stories and great memories will be had and shared on here. :]

xoxo