Sunday, July 11, 2010
it's been a while.
And there's so much to say and I just don't even know where to begin. I trusted this guy. I for once was completely myself in every way and it wasn't enough. He just up and decided he didn't want me. Just tossed me aside like I didn't even mean anything to him. And I hate how much I miss him. I hate that every night and every day all I can think about is him. I check my phone constantly thinking I'll hear from him and my heart sinks whenever I see that I haven't. He's just done with me. Just like that. I wish it was as easy for me to let go as it is for him. I wish for some reason he'd change his mind and see that I'm worth taking a chance for. But like one of my all time favorite songs go "ah but I may as well try and catch the wind.." That's how hopeless I feel. Incredibly hopeless. I fought for him. I fought and tried my best and he didn't want me. He. Didn't. Want. Me. I'm completely crushed. I had never met someone I connected so easily with. Had so much in common with. Everything seemed so right. And he just tossed me aside..
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I love you and you're totally worth it. In. Every. Single. Way.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to sit here and tell you that he's an asshat {'cause that's a given} but you gave so much of yourself to him and it's going to take time to reclaim that back, to hurdle up and over that mountain of pain. But I have faith that you'll make it, I KNOW that you will. And perhaps that's what God wants you to go through right now, to climb that mountain and succeed. Keep kicking ass and taking names, and let me tell you, you are a beautiful girl, inside and out, with amazing qualities that one day some guy is going to be so very lucky to have and to hold.
What I've learned, from what my husband put me through which seems very similar to what this jerk did to you, is that men are retarded and need to make a least one huge 'mistake' of their life. (They will call a whole couple months, or years, one 'mistake'). I don't know anything about how you and this guy were so I can't directly compare it to my own experience; but Matt did the same thing to me and made some terrible decisions while he had shoved me out of his life (things I have to personally try to forget because they tear me apart when I think about them). But it was that 'mistake' he had to make before realizing what he had. Luckily for him, I gave him a second chance. Even if this guy you're talking about doesn't do the same thing, at some point he is going to regret doing this to you. And if he's changed and you guys work out- great. If not, you don't want him in your life and he doesn't deserve you. You're amazing, and you only need people that make you happy in your life!
ReplyDeletethank you girls. its just so hard for me. i've just ugh i gave so much of myself and i fought so hard for him at the end i hate how much i begged to him. I hope you're right I know i'm only 20. but my track record of guys is this-lots of bad luck and hurt. and i'm just really worried i won't find a guy who will take that chance with me and fall for me. you know?
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